A friend of mine who married the summer before we did recently introduced me to The Dating Divas. Checking out a few of their most recent blog posts, I came across an amazing truth that few people practice in their marriages. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it described quite this way: Treat your spouse as if they were your best customer. (You can read the entire post here.)
…Our Customer Rule is different from The Golden Rule that says to treat others as we would like to be treated. Our Customer Rule is to treat our spouse the way he or she wants to be treated. It’s a switch in point of view that trains our focus on our true love’s interests and desires. We want to give each other the best customer service ever!
For example, I love flowers, so Dennis knows that if he sends me flowers, I’ll feel he is showing me that he truly loves me and is thinking about just me. If I treated him the same way (as in Golden Rule) and sent him flowers, I know he would like the flowers because he enjoys their beauty, but it wouldn’t give him the same meaning as it does for me.
Instead, I could prove how much I appreciate him by doing what he wants (Customer Rule). If I set aside an afternoon or evening for him to watch a basketball or football game from beginning to end without interruptions, hand him the remote, put snacks at a table by his side and sit with him to watch the game, he would hear “I love you” very clearly. …
Often in marriage, the “business side” takes over the relationship side. We get so busy with our jobs, our kids, our families and friends, our houses and cars and hobbies, that we lose the love connection that brought us together when we were dating. We start to take each other for granted in our pursuit of The American Dream. If we don’t give our partners what they need, they can always shop elsewhere, if only in their minds.
When we become customers of each other, we are not turning ourselves into robots that serve every whim of our partners. We are not slaves within our marriages. Instead of focusing on what is wrong with each other and trying to correct those things, we need to remember all the wonderful things that caused us to fall in love with one another….
I love the customer service metaphor for that one phrase toward the end: “If we don’t give our partners what they need, they can always shop elsewhere.” I think that’s the reason I hear most often in reference to affairs – “My husband/wife wasn’t giving me what I needed.”
Watch this video to hear the couple explain how they came up with the customer service idea of showing love to each other.